Joke #3811

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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has 69.85 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 70.46 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
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has 74.40 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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has 67.09 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
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I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
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Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, Yo mama
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”
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has 76.12 % from 393 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked, spread-eagle on her bed. He thought, "Hmm... I could fly through that open window and be in and out before she even knew what hit her!" With nothing more than a rustle of the curtains, Superman was on his way, thinking, "Wow! She is really tight!" Back in her bedroom, Wonder Woman sat up asking, "What in Amazonia was that?!" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts!"
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has 79.54 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
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has 78.70 % from 1326 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra