Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
Did I tell you the joke about my dick?
Never mind its too long.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
Gorgonzola!
Wait, it is not on yet.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets.
In her stomach the babies were talking to each other.
The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here".
The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here".
And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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