Joke #3796

I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.

While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"

Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".

Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.

Roses are red violets are blue, I have never tried So can I stick it up you?

Q:What did the black girl say while having sex? A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.

Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.

Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"

Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.