Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat.
The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop.
When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord.
"If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun.
Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity.
The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Q: Ever had sex while camping?
A: It's fucking intents.
An evening of Valentine's Day.
A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!"
"Sorry, we are sold out..."
Vote:
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous.
"My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
"I'd say you're a lesbian!"
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
Vote: