Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
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Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.
They are going to play golf at the business meeting.
The guy flies out there a day early.
He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha.
He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for.
He takes her in back and starts doing his thing.
The girl starts going crazy.
She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"
He thinks, "This girl is loving this."
Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one.
He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!"
The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
Vote:
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell.
He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building.
Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?"
The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"