Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."