I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
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To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal?
A: The lynx.
Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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