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Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill.
How irresponsible people are.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
"I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..."
"I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?"
"Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
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Joke has 30.51 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: customer service, Facebook, internet, IT, technology
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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