They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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Why are old socks good for golf?
Because they have eighteen holes.
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."