Joke #3868

They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.

You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"

Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.

How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!

Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.

Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.

Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop

What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis

A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!” Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.” The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”

Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.