They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
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A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
"Oh great!
NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.
The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here."
The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here."
The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer."
The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?"
He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
"To get his Quarter back."
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, "Daddy, daddy, Philip just got taken by the current" and the dad says,
"Oh, forget that nigga."
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Vote:
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.