Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?