Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
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Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw.
"You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
I thought I told you to lose weight.
Says the coach.
What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep?
Well, I finished it in three days!
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
Vote:
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.