Joke #4056

What can you serve that you cannot eat? A tennis ball.
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On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer." And it was good. Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence." God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United." Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.
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Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
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A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. "Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.
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All the bases are 90 feet apart in regulation Baseball. So why does it take a Runner longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it does from 1st to 2nd? Simple! Because between 2nd and 3rd there is a 'Short-Stop'!
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What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
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Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
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Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball team.
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