Joke #3873

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
Vote:
has 26.77 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: mean, navy

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Vote:
has 57.93 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Q: VWhy didn't the fixed dog cross the road? A: Because he didn't have the balls to do it.
Vote:
has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dog, mean
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east." The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west." Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!" "I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir." Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!" There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."
Vote:
has 85.57 % from 687 votes. More jokes about: management, navy, war
At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
Vote:
has 41.36 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: air force, little Johnny, military, navy, school
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
Vote:
has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, doctor, military, navy
A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: cop, mean, priest, vulgar, wine
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
Vote:
has 71.22 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: math, mean, school
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Vote:
has 53.84 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote:
has 62.77 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote:
has 55.36 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, navy, sex