Joke #3903

What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money

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A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, drunk, money
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
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has 71.64 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: money
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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has 68.86 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was Hispanic. So Johnny says, "Mum, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What does it really matter? You’ll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him. So Johnny’s father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question, "Dad, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you’re more Jewish or more Hispanic?" asks his dad. "Well, it’s like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, I don’t know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till dark and steel the fucking thing!"
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has 75.39 % from 646 votes. More jokes about: jewish, little Johnny, money, school
After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma. One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker. ‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker. ‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’ ‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man. Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"
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has 72.31 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dentist, kids, money, religious
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
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has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama