What leads most people into debt?
Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
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A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma.
One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker.
‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker.
‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man.
Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series:
"Look, how much he loves her…"
"Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
I bought a lottery ticket.
My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?"
I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on."
He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?"
I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
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Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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