What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
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Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
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