What did the spider do on the computer? Made a website!
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"