Joke #3993

Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
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What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
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Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
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What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
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Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
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Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
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What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
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Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
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