Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
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Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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How do two programmers make money?
One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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