Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
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A system administrator has 2 problems:
- dumb users
- smart users
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Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Vote:
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Vote:
What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
Vote:
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates, apache inside...
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.