Joke #3914

Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: military

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Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On his third day, he was issued a jock strap... The Army is still looking for him.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: military
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
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has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: military
Do you know why women aren't allowed in space? To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" "What is the problem?" "Yeah, great, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: military, women, work
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, “I think I’ll get up and get a coke.” “No problem,” said the Soldier, “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier’s shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, “That looks good, I think I’ll have one too.” Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier’s other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston. As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. “How long must this go on?” the Soldier asked. “This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?”
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has 85.62 % from 576 votes. More jokes about: military
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, military, sex, wife
Q: What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? A: Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
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has 84.01 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: military
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: military
Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.
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has 75.16 % from 334 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, military, Yo mama
Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. "You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer. "All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: military, money