Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down.
The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy.
So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter.
They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle.
“More!” he cries again.
They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.
He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport.
They get into a jeep and drive off.
Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying.
They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A pistol hit me on the head!”
They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder.
Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!”
They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically.
They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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What do you call a young army?
Infantry.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common?
Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave.
"No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.
They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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