Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. “More!” he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying. They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A pistol hit me on the head!” They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!” They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically. They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.