Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. “More!” he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying. They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A pistol hit me on the head!” They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!” They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically. They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.