What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town.
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife's arm... the wife is turned and she tells him: I'm sorry but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh. The husband, rejected, turns back to his bed side and tries to sleep... Some minutes later it turns again and it uncovers her wife again, he whispers to her: Have you an appointment with the dentist tomorrow too?
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
A guy is sitting in a bar; absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time-honoured icebreaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation. Finally, the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you will ply out of me with liquor." He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place." "Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked. "Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied.
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"