Joke #3949

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? A. Fucks Funny!

Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’

You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.

Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.

How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.

‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield

Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..." "Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"

I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."

I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.