Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was stuck in the chicken.
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Harry is better at sex than anyone he know.
Now all he needs is a partner.
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"?
A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club.
Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’
Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’
‘Good heavens,’ says Harry.
‘That’s a very long time ago.’
‘Not reall
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69.
And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each.
So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you.
So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed.
The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was.
She said, "I had sex with a guy."
The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water.
So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was.
She said, "I got in a fight with another nun."
So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water.
So she did.
The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did.
And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"