Joke #3974

Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.

When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.

Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.

Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.

Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.

What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.

‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen

Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.

What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.

Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.

The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to play with his unit. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."