Joke #2764

A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?

Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"

Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.

Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!

Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.

A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"

My mate down the pub asked me last night "Why do you have so many sex noises saved to your phone?" I said, "It's for sound effects during sex." He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."

I'm like happy meal. "Coz you are small and pretty?" "No, coz I always c*m with a toy inside.