Joke #4051

A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’

Husband: "When I die, I'd like to die making love." Wife: "At least we know it'll be quick!"

Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield

I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.

What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.

Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"

Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."

Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.

Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."