You WILL be a winner today.
Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
Great food but no atmosphere.
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween.
The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot.
The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?"
2nd Eskimo: "Alaska."
1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."
Madonna is 54 and her boyfriend's 25, Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend's 26, so if you're single its ok, maybe he's just not born yet.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?"
Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."