Joke #5315

You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
Vote:
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Vote:
has 71.46 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: family, life, work
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: life, political, relationship
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
Vote:
has 66.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: business, life, math, time, women
An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
Vote:
has 82.80 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: life
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
Vote:
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
At the Court discussion between judge and villager: So you was propeling surrogate alcohol? Me? No! What do you mean no? You have a device for that... means propeled. Then please judge me also for rape... So you have raped someone also? Well no... but I have a device...
Vote:
has 24.79 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: life
When a White guy is... Scared- He gets even whiter. Cold- He turns Blue. Angry-He turns Red. Stoned- Gray duh. Sick- He turns Green. When a Black guy is... Scared- He stays Black. Cold- He stays Black. Angry- He stays Black. Stoned- He stays Black. Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored.
Vote:
has 74.75 % from 809 votes. More jokes about: life, white people
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" "Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Vote:
has 84.53 % from 1710 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
Vote:
has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life