Many people get valuable furniture on hire purchase, it’s not that expensive when they buy it, but by the time it’s paid for they’re usually antiques.
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A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbour owes me £500 and he won’t pay up.
What should I do?’
‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer.
‘Nope,’ replied the man.
‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,’ said the lawyer.
‘But it’s only £500,’ replied the man.
‘Precisely.
That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!’
A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet.
‘This is two hundred pounds short,’ he says. ‘I know,’ says the employer.
‘But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.’
‘Well,’ says the worker.
‘I don’t mind an occasional mistake.
But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.’
We have our water metered and it’s very expensive.
The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.
Money should be utilized as a tool.
You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
Think nobody knows you’re alive?
Try missing a payment.
Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
Vote:
A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
The thief was spending less then his wife.