Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery? He got paid in travellers’ cheques.
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. The thief was spending less then his wife.
This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’ Mark Twain
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she rolls her own tampons.
What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.