Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery?
He got paid in travellers’ cheques.
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Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Applying for a job, a new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be any special problem.
He replied that he paid it back right after his first case.
When asked how he managed that, he said, "Well, my dad sued me for it and won."
He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs.
The real shame was that he had five older sisters.
Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
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I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment."
I said, "I don't get it."
He said, "That's right."
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Q: How is a boss better than a wife?
A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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