Joke #4193

Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery? He got paid in travellers’ cheques.
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has 18.69 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money

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Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
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has 85.82 % from 2206 votes. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: husband, money, wife
It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge It can buy you a Position But not Respect It can buy you Medicine But not Health It can buy you Blood But not Life So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering... So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. A more true Friend you will never find.
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has 77.79 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, money, poems
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, tax
A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
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has 82.74 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: cop, drunk, men, money
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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has 79.06 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: game, money, women
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
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has 75.99 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, masturbation, money, sex
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, travel