Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.