Joke #13563

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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