A blonde wanders into a library and says, ‘Can I have a burger and fries?’
The librarian says, ‘I’m sorry, but this is a library.’
The blonde whispers, ‘Can I have a burger and fries?’
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
One that never misses a period.
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
Two blondes were shopping at the mall.
When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car.
So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock.
The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, "Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!"
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
Vote:
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek?
One.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.
" Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb.
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t, they’re born that way!
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun.
Only three bullets were in the barrel.
"I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation.
She came back with a rabbit.
"How did you get that?" the other two asked.
"I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back.
The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer.
"How did you get that?" the other two asked.
"I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back.
"I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."