Joke #589

What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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has 76.46 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. "What are you doing." they ask her. So she replies "Hanging myself." The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck." The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."
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has 77.59 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, stupid
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, light bulb
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch ’n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Once there was a magical mirror. When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever. One day three college girls went to the mirror. The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one." Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world. The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one." Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money. Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*" Then she suddenly dissapearred forever
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has 84.48 % from 603 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, college, ginger, money
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder. " The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet." The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun." The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back. The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun." The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde have square boobs? She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
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has 21.90 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
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has 21.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
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has 78.44 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, sex, stupid, weed