Joke #4154

Man is incomplete until he’s married. Then he’s finished.
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has 85.34 % from 392 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
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has 85.62 % from 446 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, lawyer, marriage
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
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has 55.34 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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has 84.81 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Ladies, don’t forget the jumble sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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has 84.04 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I live like a medieval knight. Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
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has 83.94 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: marriage
An old man and his wife are having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, ‘When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!’ ‘I know,’ replies his wife. ‘But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.’
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage