Teacher: “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”
Boy: “Somebody else’s pants.”
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A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother.
He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother."
One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly.
The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother.
He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
A mother noticed her little dauther praying.
"Please, God," the little girl kept saying.
"Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia."
"Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked.
"Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?
Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.
Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?
Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
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A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "
I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze.
"Anything?"
Anything."
His voice softens.
"Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you...study?"
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report."
Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
What do you call a bunch of niggers in a school bus?
A rotten banana.
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you.
Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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