Teacher: “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”
Boy: “Somebody else’s pants.”
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The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother: “What did you learn today?”
Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Vote:
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test.
Henry: I hope you didn't either.
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?
A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100.
Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200.
Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once.
How much is six plus four?"
Class: "At once!"
A student visits the principal's office
The principal asks: "What is your name?"
The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david."
The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?"
Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."