Joke #9201

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Vote: has 78.34 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
Vote: has 63.65 % from 237 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Vote: has 85.60 % from 499 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, chemistry, death, little Johnny, school
School is like a boner, long and hard. Unless you're Asian...
Vote: has 78.36 % from 253 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, school
Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, weed
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, science
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? A: The Food!
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"  "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, school, work
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher