Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
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How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question.
He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?”
Jane blushed and said that she didn't know.
Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.”
The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.”
The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind.
Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school.
Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?"
"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Vote:
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school."
The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school!
The teachers and students hate me!
Give me one reason I should go!"
The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"