Joke #11449

Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: elf, school

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A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
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has 78.84 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, school, vulgar
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, computer, elf, nerd
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”
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has 68.87 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: elf, life
One day in class, the teacher says: "Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?" "Simple Lost tense!"
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"  "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, school, work
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: elf, food
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: school, weed
Q: Where do you find elves? A: Depends where you left them!
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: elf