Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
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Q: What vegetables to librarians like?
A: Quiet peas.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
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One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution.
Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No."
"Hear God?"
"No."
"Feel God?"
"No."
This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
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A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Santa rides in a sleigh.
What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!