What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
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The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers:
"We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend."
"Why of course," the Lieutenant answers.
"Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there."
"Why of course," the Lieutenant answers.
On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base.
Out comes a platoon of black GIs.
The schoolmistress is quite distressed.
"Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant.
"Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam.
The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells."
Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
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I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant.
I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean.
I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience.
I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it.
I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty?
Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother: “What did you learn today?”
Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!
Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!
Teacher: "Are you good at math?"
Pupil: "Yes and no."
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.