Q: What comes before 8?
A: My school bus usually.
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Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman.
One of them runs away the other two stay to watch.
The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away.
Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?"
He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University.
One of his letters home reads:
Dear Father,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear David,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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Teacher: “Suppose there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence.
How many would be left?”
Boy: “None.”
Teacher: “None? You don’t know your arithmetic!”
Boy: “Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Get bad marks, relatives will insult you.
Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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