Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
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What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms?
Way to go team!
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night.
‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor.
The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy:
Daddy, where did I come from to this life?
You were brought by a stork.
That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking.
"Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am."
"And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am."
"How do you turn them off?"
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair.
An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?