Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
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Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK masturbate in the shower, and the other half sing.
Do you know what they sing?’
Friend: ‘No I don’t.’
Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
What did one tit say to the other?
I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting.
Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean.
They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."
The next day, he overheard his parents having sex.
He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean.
His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."
At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."
A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner.
Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
Vote:
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
When two men have sex what position are they going to be in?
But what about when two dogs have sex?
That means that the two men are having sex doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sex?
That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sex doggy style.