Joke #4232

Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often? They always hit and run.
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Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
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Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
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Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
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Paddy asks Murphy, 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Murphy replies, "If they fell forwards they'd still be on the f*cking boat!"
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Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player. How come? Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
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A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
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When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
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