Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often?
They always hit and run.
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I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up.
What's wrong with me?"
Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!
What's a mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross country.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?"
The baby bear replied, "No he beats me."
The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear!
The baby bear said, "No she beats me too."
The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"
The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
Basketball is the perfect game for a black person.
All you do is run, shoot and steal.
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