Joke #4235

Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
Vote: has 88.21 % from 209 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
Vote: has 88.60 % from 278 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, women
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
Vote: has 88.78 % from 1098 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, women
Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet seat... Husband: How does it help Wife: I use your toothbrush!
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
If you want your wife to pay attention to every word you say, try talking in your sleep.
Vote: has 88.51 % from 194 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
A married couple had gotten into an argument and for many days had not been talking to each other. Instead they were writing notes back and forth. One evening the husband walked up to the wife and handed her a note that said, “Wake me up tomorrow at 6 in the morning.” When he woke up the next morning it was 9. He immediately got angry with his wife and turned around to speak to her. On her pillow was a note that said, “Wake up, it’s 6!”
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage
My wife constantly complains that I never listen to her… Or something like that.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
‘Why don’t you go home to your wife. Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.’ Groucho Marx
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!!"
Vote: has 69.15 % from 1025 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage