I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason
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About 4,000 years ago:
God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!"
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Vote:
‘My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.”
So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was my grandfather.’
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax?
A: After it reaches 95%
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "How many can you afford?"
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