A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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‘If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.’
John Paul Getty A woman rings her insurance company.
‘Our house burnt down and I want £100,000,’ she says.
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring.
One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it.
"My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote:
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud?
A: When somebody asks for a raise.
Vote:
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
A man goes to a bar says, "Barman drinks on me to you the owner and everybody else in here!"
Comes the end of the night the man say...sorry man it seems i forgot my wallet.
The barman kicks him in the guts and throws him out.
The next day the man comes again, "Barman drinks on me to you the owner and everybody else in here!"
Comes the end of the night the man say...sorry man i don't have any money on me.
The barman hits him in the face with bar stool brakes his leg and throws him out.
The following day the man comes to the bar again, "Barman drinks on me for the owner and everybody else in here!"
Barman says, "What am not getting a free drink tonight?"
"Sorry man but you get violent when you drink."
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
The economy got very bad in 2008.
I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.