Joke #4338

How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
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has 73.94 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, technology
How many blondes does it take to play tag? One.
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has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold? A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold? A: Lights it
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A. Frosted Flakes.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
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has 78.55 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
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has 77.74 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, easter, hunting
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. "I will grant you each a wish," he said. "Why not," thought the blondes. "It's worth a try." "I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island". She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away. "I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately. The third and last blonde thought for a while. "I want to be a man." She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
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has 77.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: blonde
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. "Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.'' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. "How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning." The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, "What the hell is that?"
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has 78.50 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde