Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
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Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting.
Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says, "I just don't understand it, why aren't we getting any ducks?"
Her friend says, "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."
Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.
The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.
The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying this time.
"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off.
They all jump at the same time.
Which one landed last?
The blonde because she asked for directions.
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos.
She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
The blonde immediately buys one.
The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?"
The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test?
A: Because she slept with more than one guy.