Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? The noise gave her a headache.
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Q. Why do blondes have legs? A1. So they don't get stuck to the ground. A2. To get between the bedroom and the kitchen. A3. So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
A blonde working in the coffin industry was thinking of various ways to improve her business. She thought perhaps a good way to do it would be to emulate the success of the fashion store across the street which had done very well with it's new "Buy 1, Get 1 Free" deal. Soon, a man walks in. "I would like a coffin for my father. But these coffins are very expensive!" "Well, sir, you'll be happy to know we have a 'Buy 1, Get 1 Free' deal!" The customer left.
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"