Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
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Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?
So she could have shade when she swam across!
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor.
"Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"
What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you?
"Just pull the pin and throw it back."
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
Two blondes are walking down the street.
One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first Blonde hands her the compact.
She looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick.
A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her.
‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.
‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde.
‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde.
The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde.
The bouncer is blonde.
The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."