Joke #4362

What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp? The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money

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A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: game, money, women
Patient to his doctor: "I have forgotten so many things lately, and it's getting worse. What can I do?" Doctor: "Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I'd also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?"
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has 81.21 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, money
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town? You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
An elderly retired couple went to a doctor. The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly. Will you look at us?" "Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love. "You are making love perfectly," the doctor said. "That will be $10." They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing. On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for - I told you that you are making love properly!" "She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house. A motel costs $20. You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, love, money, old people
Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank? A: The sperm is handmade.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, money