Joke #4362

What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp? The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money

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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 69.95 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
We have our water metered and it’s very expensive. The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, money
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, money
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: death, hospital, lawyer, money
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
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has 85.42 % from 2531 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money