Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
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An old miser comes into the bank with a huge bag of coins.
‘Gracious,’ says the bank teller.
‘Did you hoard all that yourself?’
‘No,’ replies the miser.
‘My sister whored most of it.’
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
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Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady asks.
"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!