Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
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The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work.
If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol.
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
Q: Where do you find elves?
A: Depends where you left them!
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
Applying for a job, a new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be any special problem.
He replied that he paid it back right after his first case.
When asked how he managed that, he said, "Well, my dad sued me for it and won."
How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"