A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut.
The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence.
‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor.
‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague.
‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
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Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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What do you give a cat for its birthday?
A catologue.
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?"
"Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!"
The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife.
So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!"
The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Peter: My mom is having a new baby.
Joy: What's wrong with the old one?
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?"
"Because I helped her."
"But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?"
"I helped her eat her gummy bears."
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!"
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."