Joke #4391

A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
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has 23.44 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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( boy 1 ) : you need to say what ever i say in backwards. ( boy 2 ) : okay. ( boy 1 ) : A B C ( boy 2 ) : C B A ( boy 1 ) : 1 2 3 ( boy 2 ) : 3 2 1 ( boy 1 ) : okay lets make this harder : CRACK MY FINGER ( Boy 2 ) : Finger my crack .
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has 73.30 % from 459 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
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has 79.07 % from 455 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, dirty, kids
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them. The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!' 'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?' Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'" The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'" The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!' And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
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has 72.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, war, women
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
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has 31.96 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 67.09 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread.
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has 85.38 % from 1645 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
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has 29.17 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty