Joke #4428

What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.

A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."

A businessman was about to go on a long business trip, and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence. After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store clerk for help. The store clerk recommended the "Voodoo D**k." "How does it work?" asked the businessman. The clerk unwrapped the Voodoo D**k from its ceremonial tiki box and said to it, "Voodoo D**k that door." The vibrator flew out of the box and attacked the door with such vigor that the door split in half. "Fantastic," said the man. "I'll take it!" He instructed his wife on how to use the Voodoo D**k and left on his business trip. Soon, his wife decided to try it out and said the magic words: "Voodoo D**k my p***y." The Voodoo D**k flew out of the box and gave her orgasm after orgasm. But soon it became too much, and she couldn't figure out how to make it stop. So she got into her car and began driving to the hospital, swerving so much that she got pulled over by the police. The policeman asked her why she was driving so recklessly and she explained to him that she had a Voodoo D**k inside her that wouldn't leave her alone. The policeman looked at her skeptically and said, "Voodoo D**k, my ass."

Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.

I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."

What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!

Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?

I asked my wife why did she marry me. Wife: "Because you are funny." Me: "I thought it was beacause I was good in bed?" Wife: "You see? You're hilarious."

Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.