Joke #4428

What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
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has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.
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has 35.52 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies
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has 26.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum. Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks. Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Heidi was game and a very nice sexual relationship began.  After several months, the guy approached Heidi and said, "I have a problem. It's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favour." Heidi replied, "Okay," to which he asked, "Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?" Heidi looked at him in confusion, but obliged.  The guy then asked, "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a mustache on you?" Heidi was growing worried, but again obliged, so the guy drew a mustache on her.  Then the guy said, "Can you wear some of my clothes? I need for you to look more like a man." Heidi was becoming disappointed at this point, but hesitantly put on his clothes.  Finally, the guy said to Heidi, "Do you mind if I call you Phil?" Heidi had now become very dejected, and said "No, I guess not, you can call me Phil." So, the guy reached out and grabbed Heidi by the arms and shouted "Phil, you'll never believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 75.68 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: desert island, game, relationship, sex
Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean, sex
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
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has 66.62 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex