Joke #2561

In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing? I’m exhausted because of sex. That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
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has 57.87 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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has 75.73 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex, wife
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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has 53.50 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: sex
One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt. He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle." The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!"
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has 85.05 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, wife
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
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has 75.08 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: priest, religious, sex, travel
Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"
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has 75.03 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: sex
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
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has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke. Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here." Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here." Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
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has 53.63 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: customer service, mean, sex
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M.
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has 52.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: sex
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
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has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
how come blondes don't wear tampons? so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.
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has 27.23 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex