She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
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Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A: Call her and tell her.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’
Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’
Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue.
Forget it.’
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Vote:
Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Vote:
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls.
To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion.
Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor.
“Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief.
But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.”
“What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously.
“Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.”
“Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully.
“That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.”
“Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened.
“It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting