She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
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The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?"
Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.
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There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn't afford it and neither could there parents.
So the parents said "We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married".
So they got married and all three daughters then said "I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it".
The parents couldn't afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house.
So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink.
On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it.
When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it.
When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it.
The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter "Why were you screaming?".
And the daughter replied "Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt."
Then the mother said to the second daughter "Why were you laughing last night?" and the daughter replied "Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled".
Then the mother said to the last daughter "Why didn't I hear anything coming from your room last night?" and the daughter replied "Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full".
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"?
A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen.
So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off.
So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown.
He got a boner, so that was the end of him.
Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him.
This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner.
So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He
decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her.
When he looked in his
mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing
herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man"
So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again,
but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it
out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in
bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his
clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I
need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
Vote:
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."