Joke #4434

They are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
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has 54.44 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, husband, marriage, time
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 83.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
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has 54.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, mean, party
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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has 58.32 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
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has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wife
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating. The American husband asked, "how did you find out?" The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, marriage, money
I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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has 70.50 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!" "I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there." The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is." "Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!" "Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: marriage