Joke #4446

‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
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has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: sex

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The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport, time, wife, work
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
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has 68.17 % from 1374 votes. More jokes about: dating, sex
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.
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has 29.17 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: sex
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
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has 78.44 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, sex, stupid, weed
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
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has 67.29 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar. He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey. How about you and me getting it on? I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’ The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
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has 61.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: sex
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
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has 62.75 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: sex
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time